A Letter to Batman from the Gotham City Police Department

Batman-police-training-satire

Re: Best Practices and Public Awareness/Safety Training

Dear Batman:

We are writing to you because you recently registered to be an auxiliary agent of the Gotham City Police Department.

The Gotham City Code requires all law enforcement agents to undergo training in police best practices and public awareness/safety. Topics of this mandatory training include, but are not limited to:

  1. Minimizing risks to bystanders during potentially lethal confrontations
  2. Mitigating damage to public and private property
  3. Reading a suspect his or her Miranda rights
  4. The safe use, transportation, and storage of firearms
  5. How to avoid racial profiling
  6. Suspect interrogation techniques that comply with the United Nations Human Rights Standards and Practices
  7. Safe driving
  8. Effective coördination and coöperation with other law enforcement agencies
  9. Working with a partner

There will be a short exam at the end of the training session. Please note: You must successfully complete the exam in order to qualify as a Gotham City Police Department agent. Successful candidates will receive a Certificate of Achievement. (Unsuccessful candidates will receive a Certificate of Participation and will have a second opportunity to complete their training in the following calendar year.) Upon successful completion of training, you will be awarded a Gotham City Police Department Agent license, which you will be required to carry with you at all times while on duty. You will also need this license should you wish to register a private vehicle for law enforcement purposes. Furthermore, you will be required to satisfy biennial Continuing Law Enforcement Education requirements.

The upcoming training will be held on the 13th and 14th of November at the Gotham Grand Hotel, Convention Room 4. Lunch is included for both days, and refreshments such as coffee and snacks will be available as well.

While the hotel does not offer free parking, any parking costs will be reimbursed by the HR department upon production of a receipt. We encourage you to consider the environment and travel to the venue using Gotham City’s outstanding monorail service, however. #KeepGothamGreen

Please register no later than two weeks before the training, by visiting www.gcpd.gov/awarenessandsafetytraining.

We look forward to seeing you there.

Yours sincerely,

Fran Jansen
Human Resources Manager
Gotham City Police Department

Please share this piece anywhere and everywhere.

This letter was originally published by How Pants Work.

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